


sad to say, i’m already yours

by tonisblossom



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, cheryls needs mf hELP, it’s kinda sad ngl, toni needs a mf hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:27:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21552226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonisblossom/pseuds/tonisblossom
Summary: toni topaz does not give up on the people she loves, that’s a known fact.she’s tried to be patient, tried to suggest therapy multiple times because she can’t see this continue on any longer now.she can’t handle seeing the girl she loves slowly wither away right before her eyes anymore.the conversations about the red head eventually starting therapy always ended with cheryl sobbing in her arms, apologizing time after time and promising toni that she’ll get help.and toni falls for it. every time.the pink haired girl loves that girl with every fiber of her being, so forgive her for being hopeful. forgive her for being naive.with time though, she quickly realizes that those promises were just lies. the promises was just something the red head agreed on in the moment to keep toni from leaving her.and it worked, every damn time.toni was cheryl’s light, but that light was slowly burning out.at the end of the day, toni keeps coming back to one question: can you really help someone who doesn’t want your help?
Relationships: Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz
Comments: 12
Kudos: 87





	sad to say, i’m already yours

**Author's Note:**

> okay hi, hello!! i haven’t posted anything here in ages, but hOPEFULLY i’ll finish this work ah haha. 
> 
> anyways, this is gonna be an angsty more reality based oneshot on choni’s current situation with their shit storyline atm :-) i got the inspiration from listening to a song called ’urs’ by NIKI, so definitely check that out if you want more background. it’s gonna be divided into 5 parts sooo..yeah, i hope you guys like it :)
> 
> oh and also, you can find me on twitter, my @ is dualipper :p

cheryl got jason back.

now usually the smile on cheryl’s face would make toni’s heart flutter, but knowing why she’s smiling makes her heart sink.

why couldn’t the red head be that happy with just her?

”all is right in the world,” cheryl mumbles as she combs through jason’s hair.

”isn’t it, my love?”

toni wants to scream.

”yep. everything’s..back to normal,” toni breathes out with a forced smile.

the pink haired girl quickly excuses herself, but cheryl barely notices as she makes her way out of the basement.

everything was going so well until the farm, and god, toni really wants to blame betty cooper for all of this because if she never asked cheryl for help- they wouldn’t be here.

but here they are.

deep down toni knows that the blonde detective never meant for this to happen, that she’s also dealing with what the farm had done to her family. but for now it feels good to be able to blame someone for the hurt she’s feeling, eventhough she knows it isn’t right.

”t.t, why did you leave in such a rush?” a soft voice interupts her thoughts.

toni sighs as she turns around slowly, extending an arm to grasp cheryl’s hand in her own, tugging her along with her.

”i’m really tired babe, besides, i feel like we should leave jason alone for tonight,” she mumbles.

the red head doesn’t say anything, she just looks back at the gated room where jason is with a frown before she nods her head, letting toni lead the way to their bedroom.

”are you mad at me?” cheryl questions as they get into their bedroom.

toni closes the door behind her with a sigh before making her way over to the red head that’s sitting at the very end of the bed.

she stands in the space between the red head’s legs, her hands coming to rest on cheryl’s cheeks as she rests her head on top of hers.

”i’m not mad at you, cher,” she murmurs against cheryl’s hairline as she plants a soft kiss to her head.

”but there’s something bugging you toni, i can tell,” the red head grabs ahold of toni’s wrists, tugging on them lightly.

”look at me, please” cheryl begs.

toni moves to sit beside cheryl, the red head turning towards her so they were sitting face to face.

”does this have to do with jason?”

there was that question again.

this happened every time.

cheryl would notice that toni was down, she’d then ask if it had to do with jason and toni would nod. they’d then have this whole conversation about cheryl getting help of some sort, just for it to not happen.

it’s just an evil loop by this point, and toni’s never been a fan of roller coasters.

”cheryl, what’s the point of having this conversation when we both know nothing’s gonna change,”

toni sat there patiently waiting for cheryl to either breakdown on her, or blow up on her.

either way, she was used to it.

”why do you hate jason so much?” the red head looked at toni sadly. ”why do you hate having him around? i don’t understand how he’s bothering you when you’re not even around him to begin with.”

she looked so deeply confused, as if toni being upset about her girlfriend hiding her dead brothers corpse in their basement was something unusual.

she could see the confusion shining in cheryl’s eyes as she look at her, and it honestly broke toni’s heart.

but if she didn’t get through to cheryl now, she’d have to give the red head an ultimatum.

her, or jason.

”i don’t hate him cher.” she kept it simple, but firm.

she didn’t hate jason, how could she when she never got the chance to know the boy?

if anything, she had nothing but love for her girlfriends brother. if he’s anything to go by from what cheryl’s said: toni is extremely grateful to him.

”but you don’t want anything to do with him, and you’re always talking about how we have to put him back where he belongs. he’s supposed to be here with me toni,” the red head interupts her, and toni’s letting out a small sigh at the end of cheryl’s sentence.

the pink haired girl notices how cheryl’s whole mood changes, her shoulders slumping significantly as she looks down at her hands and fiddles with the sleeves of her sweater.

toni’s eyes soften.

”i know he does, and what happened to jason wasn’t fair. but you’re torturing jason’s soul by not letting his body rest peacefully.”

silence.

complete and utter silence envelopes the room.

the silence somehow deafens any thoughts toni has going through her head at the moment, the only thing she can think about is how cheryl’s gonna pitch a fucking fit.

and she’s correct.

”are you implying that i’m hurting jason?” the red head abruptly stood up.

”i would never hurt jason, you should know that better than anyone else, toni. i never thought you’d be the one to say something like that,” cheryl’s voice wavers at the end of her sentence.

toni knows what she said hit home for the red haired girl. but cheryl wasn’t listening to what she was actually saying.

”you’re taking it completely out of context cheryl, you know that’s not what i meant,” toni said hopelessly, desperately even as she looked up at the girl in front of her.

she felt hopeless, completely fucking hopeless. cheryl was so deep inside her head that toni’s afraid that even she herself won’t get through to her.

not only that, but her walls were built higher than they’ve ever been before, the red head couldn’t handle confrontation of any type- either breaking down, or taking offense to anything toni said.

it was mentally, and emotionally exhausting for toni.

she felt so, so tired.

”what did you mean then, hmm?”

the hostility in cheryl’s voice made toni sick.

she couldn’t do this anymore.

the constant fighting and bickering was too much. she couldn’t sit around and wait for the few good times anymore.

she’s afraid that they’ll tear each other apart if they keep going on like this. although, she feels like that’s already happened. they passed their breaking point a long time ago.

it wasn’t supposed to end like this. they were supposed to graduate and continue on with the rest of their lives together- they’d already started making plans. talked about a future where they’d be married and that they’d have two kids, although cheryl was insistent on having three. toni would compromise and say that they could have three children if she got a dog. so now their future consisted of three children and a dog.

and god, their plans on colleges and everything in between.

everything was perfect- cheryl blossom was perfect, but maybe now toni was starting to notice the flaws.

maybe this is where they ended.

no. don’t say that.

she wasn’t ready to let go- to let this love go.

but you can’t stay.

”cheryl, i-” she abruptly cut herself off, taking a moment to really gather her thoughts together.

toni loved cheryl. everybody knows that.

their friends would always gush about how cheryl and toni had this unconditional love for each other. and they did, toni really believed they did. the pink haired girl wouldn’t be going through this literal hell with cheryl if she didn’t.

she’d made a silent promise to herself that she’d never let cheryl struggle again, and she knows that promise is already impossible to begin with, but she’d do fucking everything in her power to come near to fulfill that promise.

another thing keeping her from leaving, beyond her promise to herself, was the thought of cheryl doing something drastic if she were to leave.

she could barely fucking function after getting to know how cheryl was so close to ending it all at sweetwater river, how would she function if the red head did something like that again, only that time it was all her fault?

she’d probably want to kill herself too.

she can’t deny that cheryl’s struggling, and she wished more than anything that she could take all of her struggles away.

but she’s struggling too.

the farm brought back memories and old demons that she was having a hard time with, but she’s too busy taking care of cheryl to deal with them.

who’s taking care of her? no one.

”i-i don’t know if i can do this anymore.”

”w-what?” the red head stutters out in shock, the room falling quiet. ”what do you mean? w-what can't you do anymore?

”this. i can’t do this anymore.” toni said brokenly.

you can’t sit around and wait for the few good times.

”no. y-you can’t leave, you p-promised,”

fuck.

cheryl was stuttering over her words, tears quickly falling down her ivory cheeks as panic took over her whole body.

”cheryl, i love you, so much. but i-i can’t sit around and pretend like everything’s okay anymore.” her voice was heavy with emotion as she swallowed down a sob.

”a-are we not okay?”

toni felt her heart break at the question.

“we’re not, baby.” toni states brokenly, tears shining in her eyes.

“how can i fix this?“ she could see how cheryl was crumbling right before her eyes.

”please tell me how i-i can fix this, i n-need to fix this.” cheryl sinks to the floor, her body going limp as she sobs into her hands.

toni sinks down right along with her, pulling cheryl into her side as she takes a moment to anchor herself, rapid tears falling down her cheeks.

fuck the farm.

fuck them for making cheryl have to go through the process of losing her brother a third time.

first was when they seperated at sweetwater river, a once innocent plan to help jason escape their family’s crutches, turned dark.

the second time was when he was found dead, only for it to be revealed that her father was the one behind his gruesome murder, and she actually lost jason forever that time.

he wouldn’t be coming back like they’d once planned.

and now this.

the farm manipulating cheryl to believe that he was back by digging up his corpse. convincing cheryl that jason was alive and she was talking to him. now cheryl’s grown attached again because losing him a third time would be too much.

“toni, i l-love you,” cheryl whimpered through a sob.

toni’s eyes soften, a fresh batch of tears running down her tanned cheeks.

”i know,” she mumbles softly against cheryl’s hair. ”i know.”

”p-please don’t l-leave…”

xxx


End file.
